Everyone knows I gripe and gripe about Jack and Jasmine. The bark too much, they dig up the yard. They chew the fence. They poop a least 10x what they eat. Today, though, they earned their keep. I'm sitting in the living room watching "Georgia Rule" (LiLo, Jane Fonda--it was a slow afternoon) with Audrey (I have no doubt Audrey will make LiLo look like a total angel in 15 years). Anyway, the dogs just start going at it. I look at the window to scream at them. They look like they are barking at each other, but it's different. They're barking at something on the ground. I leave Audrey inside and go check it out. From the deck, I can see this huge (at least a couple of feet long) python!!! Well, it looked like a python to me.
The snake is hissing at the dogs. I assess the situation from the deck. I'm screaming at the dogs to get away, but also "kill it, kill it!!!" I don't want them to get bitten by a poisonous snake, but I don't want it in the yard. I know sure as $hit I'm not getting down there to kill it. Of course, this is the one day in the ten years we've been married (I am not exaggerating) that Mark went into the office on a Sunday.
I think that maybe I can scare it off if I can spray it with the hose, but the hose is connected to the sprinkler. So I reel in the hose and start throwing the sprinkler at the snake. I think I hit it, maybe once. I finally get the dogs into the patio. Jasmine was pretty easy to corral--she must not like snakes, either. But Jack would have none of it. He was barking and was not going to let that snake get away. I finally shoo him away far enough from the snake that I'm comfortable getting to him, and drag him inside.
Now, I'm not sure what to do. I pick up Audrey, as if we are both sanding feet from a poisonous viper, instead of the safety of our kitchen. I run out the front, down the street to our neighbor. I pick our most manly, brave neighbor, Gary. Gary comes down to our yard with his shovel, but by the time he and his brother-in-law get there, the snake has escaped. At least I hope it has escaped.
So, while I bad-mouth my dogs all the time, I feel like today they really tried to protect their family. While nothing probably would have happened--after I described the snake to Gary, he concluded it was rat snake or garden snake that we shouldn't kill (thus I hope I did not break its back with the sprinkler)--I still think it was brave of my dogs.
So tonight, they get to bark for free. No yelling. Who knows it really could be a python this time!
